5/10/12

Some Things Take Time - Our Sacred Conversations


The other day* I had a visit with a good friend of 5 years. We met innocently enough at a local coffee house (Café Roche) and talked over hot coffee and warm pastries.

Cafe Roche' - Winston Salem, NC
We spent about 2 hours together rambling from topic to topic, laughing and contemplating. When we were done - I left with a bitter-sweet awareness.

The Sweet – We listened and talked to each other. We asked questions to better understand perspectives. We recalled life experiences and things we had read or seen to add depth and breadth to the conversation. We wondered together. We laughed, debated and share silence together. I left feeling grateful for the time and was stimulated in my thinking and creative passion.

The Bitter - I don’t have good, quality, LONG conversations nearly often enough. I know I am busy at work and at home. I know the trend is for 140 character interactions, online chatting, blogging/commenting and trite verbal exchanges (and I’m very good at those – I’m just saying), but I know there is more to it. I know that I still cherish those long evenings with friends during my college years. I know some of my best thinking comes from unscripted moments and open ended time frames. I know that putting everything on 'pause' for someone else is priceless.

Have we somehow developed into a culture where conversation has been replaced with brief proclamations and affirmations? Has the art of informed group inquiry (was there ever such an art) become too complicated, too time consuming for our faced-paced existence?  I think one of the reasons that I love sharing coffee with others – just about anyone – is that it slows things down and creates a moment for conversation. It is hard to be in a hurry when you are holding and trying to drink very HOT liquids!


My life needs more time for coffee and conversation, more space for debating and wondering with others. What about you? Care to join me for a cup of Joe?

*This phrase is used widely here in the South and means - "I can't remember exactly when it was, and it isn't important enough to get the time frame right - but what IS really important is what I'm going to say next, so pay attention!"

9 comments:

  1. "A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent."

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    1. True that and thank you for providing a place for it...

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  2. I'm right there with you on this one! I love a good conversation. No one talks anymore. I think that's why I enjoyed our Writer's Critique this week... because everyone had so much to say. I used to have small dinner parties at home all the time. Nothing better than sitting around the table with friends exchanging ideas and laughter while sharing good food. I think it's time to get back to those dinners. I appreciate the reminder.

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    1. Can I get one of those dinner invites?! :)

      Seriously, even the phrase "dinner party" seems alien anymore.

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    2. I want an invite too! I'll even bring a vegan dish to share. :)

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  3. Blessed to have been one of those to share a cup a joe with the wishful preacher. I love your definition of "the other day..." so so true!

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  4. Wow, you packed a wallop in this one, Kim. You're so right. There are so many things for which we no longer create space -- and it's sacred space, really. Space in which the Spirit can move and touch and comfort and inspire.

    I often put people off when they say, "Let's get together for coffee and catch up." I think I don't have time, but you've made a great case for the importance of making time.

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    1. Elizabeth - I think we are part of a generation (young as it is...) that has experienced a life pace that is punctuated with these sacred, rhythmic moments, and as such we can miss them when reminded. I wonder, sometimes, if this is becoming a lost art of living/communication...

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